Category Archives: Laughs

Clactonian Man 500,000 Years Ago

But did you know that when the original inhabitants of what is now Clacton (and Jaywick!) first roamed these marshes there were elephants here much larger than the mammoth and England was still almost linked to mainland Europe (bit like now!) with the North Sea only a river into which flowed the Rhine?

And did you know that Clactonian Man hasn’t changed all that much during that last half million years? (I’m joking now.)

Seeing Clacton man in a new light
Stooped, violent, unable to utter more than a grunt and hell-bent on terrifying innocent bystanders with Stanley knife-type weapons.

This is the image that archaeologists have painted of the ape-like man that lived in the Clacton area 400,000 years ago.

But new research has caused historians and archaeologists to re-evaluate the culture that has been dubbed “Clactonian” … East Anglian Daily Times news (You can find the original HERE)

 

 

Talking Dog for Sale

A guy sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.”

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Sure do,” the dog replies.

“So, what’s your story?”

The dog looks up and begins telling his story, “Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.

“The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals.”

“Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.

The owner says, “Ten dollars.”

The guy says, “This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”

“Cause he’s a liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff!”